Are Danish people perfect? Where is the poo?
Long disclaimer: Unlike other travel blogs, I don’t want to write about the places, I want to write about the people. Don’t expect any recommendations of where to go, where to take the best selfie, or where to eat so you don’t then spend the rest of your holiday squatting over a hole in the ground hoping for the sweet release of death. Rather what you will read about is the experience of a tourist talking with locals and trying to understand their culture and what the hell they are thinking.
This is far from objective, so if you have a different opinion feel free to comment and we can have a discussion. I would love to hear what you think and how your experiences differ from mine and if you are a Dane what you think of all these tourists coming in and making your jobs!
It was a 7 day trip to the hygge capital of the world, Copenhagen. This was the second time that I visited Scandinavian cities. Back in 2011, I visited Stockholm for a few days now 8 years on, nothing has changed.
When I think about Scandinavian and Nordic countries (yes, I know they’re not the same), I first think about how cool the Vikings were and how I should grow a beard, then after I realize that I don’t have a beard comb and I would have to buy one, I remember reports of them being happiest/safest/best countries of the world like a colder bigger Disneyland, with more Vikings. These countries are always at the top of the “life is good” tables. My initial impression when I was there was that they were perfect. Polite, educated, tolerant, open people and EVERYONE speaks perfect English. During the first days, all I kept thinking was “So… where is the poo??”.
I had the opportunity to visit the IT University of Copenhagen. The university is not isolated, it’s quite the opposite, it’s inside the city and it’s surrounded by blocks of flats, shops, and green. There were no controls, you could get inside the building and walk or run around. There weren’t any “who the bloody hell are you?”, “where do you think you going?”, “Why are you wearing no trousers?” and all these awkward questions you normally get when you go to an institution. You can’t even differentiate between who is a student and who is not. By not having these tags you feel less outsider and even more welcomed.
Welfare System
It’s well known that Scandinavian countries have one of the best welfare systems in the world (probably the best). The basic principle of their welfare system is that everyone has the right to free-first class healthcare and education. Even when you are unemployed the government will support you financially for up to 2 years and they provide you with workshops and lectures to become more competitive and employable in your field. This system sounded very utopian to me. I couldn’t imagine how a whole society can work and be sustainable with all these benefits. All the questioning dispelled when I started talking to the locals. The key element that makes this system work is the culture. Danes are hard workers and non-selfish people. The unemployment benefit is there, but Danes feel ashamed to use it. It’s really hard to hear a Dane brag about something because their culture and system teach them that everyone should have the same rights of education and healthcare. With this type of mindset, people don’t misuse the service.
Relationships
I was surprised that when talking with expats, most of them didn’t have any Danish friends. Danes seem to be tolerant and polite, but that doesn’t mean that they are warm. They have clear boundaries between their work and personal life. Thus, the system is designed in a way that companies need to respect your personal life and not call you during non-working hours, less working shifts, and more vacations. Plus, extrovert and communicative behavior is not common. This means that there is a big wall to their personal lives and to become friends with a Dane.
People can live there for years and still not manage to bond completely with the Danes and their culture. The easy answer is that most people just go there for the welfare system, but the truth is, it’s hard to become close friends with a Dane. My experience with the Danes I talked to is that most of their close friends are from their childhood and high school, so for them, it’s very hard to let you into their limited buddy list. Plus there is a language barrier. Yes, Danes speak perfect English, but that doesn’t mean that they prefer it over their own language. Danish is a hard language to learn, let alone master, and it’s harder when you don’t have a motivation or a reason to learn it. When you try to speak Danish with a Dane they usually reply to you in English to make the communication easier.
Christiania
Christiania is something that is worth talking about. This an intentional community with 7.7 acres inside Copenhagen. It’s more well-known for the “Green street”, a street where they sell weed (taking into account that it’s pretty illegal in Denmark) and they don’t pay taxes (according to the tourist guide).
I know this sounds very cool, but it’s not that easy to move in. The only way to be part of the Christania community is to have parents from Christiania, marry someone from Christiania, or there is the exceptional occasion where the community invites you.
This community started back in the 60s. A group of hippies found an old abandoned army base with working power plants and just settled there. This group of hippies grew to become a community of 1000 residents and the 4th biggest tourist attraction in Copenhagen (also, according to our tourist guy).
What surprised me most about Christiania is how the government reacted. There were a lot of politicians against this community, but instead of using force to dissolve them they went through the hard but compassionate way of diplomacy. After years of negotiation, the community is now buying the land to claim full ownership. A lot of other countries would use military power or other ways of pressure and disjoint the community.
Danish government and culture is a reflection of the Danes. They have unique feeling that they are not better or worse than anyone else. The individuals do not tend to brag or humiliate people. They surely analyse them, but when they see the difference they are curious about it and tolerate it, at least that was my impression. They don’t feel that they have the right for truth and to impose their truth on someone else.
So where is the poo? Well, as someone that comes from a collectivist society, this relationship scheme doesn’t fit me. I rather prefer to have a little bit of chaos in the system in exchange for warmer and more solid relationships.
Thanks to David Watson, Gabriela Kadlecová and Michelle Castañeda for proofreading and transform this to a readable thing.
